Breaking News!!

This just in! Listening to loud music for long periods of time can damage your hearing! Hot coffee will burn you! Fingers don't come in chili unless you bring your knife and have a high tolerance for pain! Carrying your AK-47 in public is not recommended. PS3s are overpriced! Drinking gasoline and then swallowing a match will not light a fire under you to make you clean your room faster! Punching yourself in the face does hurt! Ice cubes cause salmonella! Wrapping your TV-dinner in saran-wrap and putting it in the microwave will give you cancer! Now go copy and paste this on an e-mail and send it to 537 people in the next 32 seconds or you will have bad karma for the next 322 years and every girlfriend you ever had will break up with you. BUT make a wish before you send it, and if you succeed, the past three loves of your life will call you!
If you send this to:

• 99 people or under: You need more friends and your wish will come true in 12 years
• 100-199 people: Not too bad...your wish will come true in 6,356 days
• 200-299 people: You know quite a few people and your wish will come true in 42 weeks
• 300-399 people: Getting there. Your wish will come true in 5,092 hours
• 400-500 people: Wow you're good...turn around your wish has come true
• any more than 500 people: That's just kind of scary that you actually have that many people in your address book and if you actually sent it...I laugh at you... ha haha

After you've sent it to 500 people, press Alt-F4 and the name of your mother's, brother's, great aunt's pizza delivery guy will show up on the screen and possess your computer. It's scary!!